LOST. PERDU. PERDIDO. 失去

No, not the T.V. show. 

I’m talking about something else entirely. I don’t think I have the right to pass judgment. Scratch that. I know I do not have the right to pass judgment at all. But this is the Opinion’s section and I have an opinion that I would like to share with everyone.

Disclaimer: if you don’t like derision or cynicism than do not continue reading…because I hope that this article will be full of it. And also I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge the fact that this does not describe everyone here at Messiah; only a select few.

I’ve surveyed the student body here at Messiah and there are a few things that have stood out.  

First that integrity seems to have disappeared from this campus. It seems to be gone and I’ve seen it in a few people, but for the most part it left a long time ago I think and here is how I know. When I put on a Dining Services T-shirt, my jeans and a black hat, I become invisible. And when you’re invisible, you see things, pick up on aspects that usually go unnoticed.

A couple of weeks goes by, working in Lottie, and then you see that integrity of people is lost. Students steal cakes, take plates and utensils, as if it’s their right to take. A student will drop their plate of salad, and salad dressing is everywhere. But they simply leave it there, they don’t even tell a nearby worker to perhaps let them know they’ve created a mess.

No.

Secondly if something isn’t easy and accessible, then it’s not worth the trouble. I recently talked to a friend who has traveled to Haiti multiple times and she has noticed that they are thankful for everything. They walk over an hour for water. God is that much bigger there, because God is actually depended upon. Here everything is at our fingertips. We hardly even use books anymore, we’ve got High Speed internet. Students complain if extra effort needs to be exerted.

Here though, we leave the lights on in a room where no one is sitting. Here we leave the tap running longer than it needs to be because running water is something that we’ve grown up with, it’s always been there and it’s easily accessed. Right?

I’ll give you another example and its little, you might think I’m being over critical, but sometimes being over critical is what is needed. The Gluten Free Fridge, with the Lactaid and Silk, is literally three steps from the garbage can. But when something empty, it’s simply left in the fridge. Am I being anal? Is it something that doesn’t bother other people? I could be wrong, but my mother taught me to throw something out when I’m finished with it. How about your mom? Also, who leaves their tray on the table for a worker to come and pick it up?

I guess some students forget how to clean up after themselves to. I understand, school is stressful, you’ve got papers, and you’re stressed out about loans and lack of sleep. But it takes only little bit more effort to take your oh-so-heavy tray to the accumulator (the dish return).

Ok, moving on. Thirdly, if there aren’t multiple options; you’re being cheated. I’ll give you another example. Its Saturday morning breakfast and I’ve been working for oh say an hour or so and its 7:00am, there are bagels, a small pancake bar with toppings, the omelet bar, the yogurt bar and pastries. A student walks over to me and asks me “Where is breakfast?”

Listen I know you were blessed and you’re paying for a meal plan, you have a right to food I guess. I guess I just expect a small degree of thankfulness that there actually is food. Also, the general consensus seems to be that Lottie has less-than-to-be-desired-food. The same thing here; I just expect there to be certain degree of thankfulness that there is food to complain about.

 In some countries to have the opportunity to complain is a luxury. That shouldn’t just only be in those countries, it should be everywhere, and the entire world should consider the ability to complain a luxury. Just saying.

Fourthly, there are rules that need to be adhered to, but if we’re not willing to bend them for the exception (and everyone thinks they are the exception) than we’re the bad guy. We’re the inconsiderate one who has no heart. 

Here’s another example, not too long ago a young man came into Lottie, he forgot his card and asked the cashier to type in his ID number. She refused because students are supposed to carry their ID cards, and the process becomes that much longer. Well let me tell you. Names and angry words came flying out of that young man’s mouth as if it was his job to cut down her self-esteem.  She was silent the entire time.

Am I wrong to hold the students here at Messiah to a higher standard? Or am I expecting too much? I don’t think I am.

In my opinion, we’re all lost. Me included. I constantly pray each day I work, for my patience level and to simply love the students who come into Lottie. But I’m human and sometimes I fail and I end up despising them instead.  I’ll admit it, that most of the time I’m smiling, but when I’m in Lottie, the smile seems to disappear because I’m bracing myself for disappointment.

Maybe I’m just hard to impress. Maybe my standards are just too high, or maybe someone else’s standards are just too low. Either way there is a disconnection.

I’ll end with a quote. I once talked with a wise lady who said this “The earth is what God gave us, and the world-the way it is now-is what we’ve created it to be.” What does that mean? Just because we’re blessed with a cafeteria, a wonderful campus and education, it does not mean that we have the right to abuse those blessings.

That’s what integrity is, treating everything with a high degree of respect and thankfulness, everything. That means, you’re not singing praises, thanking God for everything in your life with your mouth and then your actions speak otherwise and your thoughts aren’t even spoken out loud because they are a far cry from what’s coming out of your mouth.

And that’s why I know we’ve lost integrity because the words I hear are wonderful, they make me smile. But the actions, they make me depressed and the smile on my face disappears.

There I’ve written what has been on my heart for the past couple of months and it feels good to put it down on paper. 

Thank you for reading my rantings.

L'Oublieux (The Forgetful)

Ne me demandez pas pourquoi vous écris tout dans une autre langue; parce que, je ne sais pas.  Mais je pense que il y'a une raison, mais c'est caché de moi. Et ainsi de...je n'a pas une explication.


Peut-être vous saurez.


Have we forgotten where we were before where we are now, or is that simply my misunderstanding of the situation? It must be one or the other because when I think about people, I think a few things, some superficial and some deep. Here are a few deep things that I think about...
Firstly, people either love or hate remembering where we come from. Either its a source of pride or its a source of misfortune and why in the world would they want to remember something like that hmm? 
Secondly, those who think on their past with great pride think and sometimes dwell on the "old times" rather often.
Thirdly, those who think on their past with great shame think and sometimes dwell on the "old times" rather often too, they just don't talk about it as much and that is simply because they don't want to remember those times. Those times lower their self-esteem and remind them of the person they wish they weren't.


The second category of people are what I have defines as l'oublieux, the forgetful. The funny thing is though that these people never really forget who they were, they are reminded constantly through their actions and the company they keep. But they desperately want to forget. 
Why?
Think about it for a second. Why would you want to forget about your past? Most likely a hideous crime you committed, or a failed attempt at something, a terrifying experience or an embarrassing situation. 


Let me be open here, and maybe I should write this part dans une autre langue. 
Pouquoi?
Parce qu'il est pourrait révéler beaucoup de choses à vous qui je suis. 
Ainsi.
But then maybe I should write in my natural language, because it might have more meaning to you then.
Decisions, decisions.
Okay, I'm going with the natural language.
Ma Langue maternelle.


Not too long ago, I had feelings for a certain fellow (I won't name him) and I did everything within my being to try to spend time with him. Call him to hang out, send him messages, email him, ask him his opinions about tons of stuff. 
At one point after school had ended for the year and we were home, I invited him to hang out and watch a movie. He said yes and then proceeded to do nothing about it, I guess he assumed I would take care of everything.
So, we both couldn't get a car and so my parents (knowing I had feelings for this chap) offered to give us a ride, because they would be in the area looking at rugs. So we agreed. But get this, I'm in my twenties and he is in his twenties, and we are getting a ride to the movies. Its so high school.
Anyways.
So we picked him up and it was just awkward, weird, frustrating and to be honest he didn't ever call me or anything after, no email, no nothing. But silly me. I just couldn't take a hint. So I kept on messaging him, and he would message me back whenever he had the time (and I know he was doing it just to be kind).
A semester followed of me, texting him every couple weeks, talking to him, nothing that a normal friend wouldn't do, but I thought...anyways it doesn't even matter what I thought. I...(I'm embarrassed to admit) wrote him a letter. It was sad.

I found out a few weeks later that he had started dating some one else.
Oh dear.
Needless to say, I probably won't be opening my heart up any time soon (not that I opened it up wide to begin with)...
But that situation right there, is something I desperately want to forget, but the harder I try, the more I remember it.
How silly I must have been to think such thoughts. What a fool I was. Its a humbling situation, it lowers my self esteem and almost every time I think I might be on top of the world, I remember that little circumstance and I'm quickly brought back down to ground zero.
Which is good; it makes me human.
But I desperately wish I could simply be forgetful about that situation, I wish it would leave my brain. But it won't.
Oh well, its a thorn in my side.

I know I'm not the only person to have gone through it, heck guys go through this stuff all the time, they just shove those feelings down and let them out through exercise or video games. I write about mine.
Maybe I shouldn't, maybe I'm doing the write thing.

Mais ne vous souhaite pas (comme moi) que vous pourriez être oublieux de certaines choses trop? Parce que je sais que je ne suis pas le suel.
*soupir*
Bien c'est tout pour l'instant.

反思 Reflecting

How does one go about making a definite change in their lives? How can they be conscious of what they need to do after they have learned something new that could potentially send them down another path?

I look out the window and wonder.
What a romantic picture this is. A person staring out their window, contemplating their problems and how they might fix them. I am not trying to be romantic or picturesque, its just actually what I'm doing and after I wrote the sentence above I realized how cheesy it sounded. So I just wanted to let you know that I wasn't trying to do that.

Let me ask you a question.
What do you take for granted?
Your family, your friends, your clothes, your shoes, your computer, your desk, phone, socks, underwear. The politics that tries so hard to hold your country together? Do you take that for granted?
The extra money you were able to stuff in your purse just in case you might want something to eat later? What about roads, cars that actually run, food on the table, running water?
Have you ever just mindlessly thrown out some left over food because you didn't want it anymore? Have you ever left the T.V. on because you were going to be back in a few minutes? What about the lights, you leave those on all the time without even thinking about it?
I'll bet you do.

I do sometimes, don't worry I'm just as guilty as you. And its unbalanced because of our mindset. We think we are entitled, we think its our right to do this. Because its ours for the taking we just take and give nothing in return.
A friend once told me that if she were to go to grad school and get her masters in psychology than she would still only be able to earn $60,000 a year.
Ahem. ONLY?!
Only in the United States, and Canada, and Europe for that matter, has the $60,000 become a little amount. I'm sure there are some other countries, but in most other countries that is a number to gawk at. Only because we have labeled personal, financial success as the highest priority can we then say that "We would only be making $60,000 a year."

Here we laugh at sitcoms that make fun of office life and how low people have become if they're driving a beat-up car. We're making fun of ourselves. But in another third-world country, they laugh at what is funny, and guess what they don't have to turn on the T.V. to do it.
It comes naturally.
Despite what you may think while reading this; my aim at writing this is not to make you feel guilty. Although it may have, but it is to inspire a willingness to make a change in your life as I have felt a spark to change in mine.
Am I bitter towards the country I grew up in? Yes. I am. But I'm not going to sit back and simply say that's the way the cookie crumbles. I would like to think I'm a human being of some intellectual capacity, so therefore I'm going to try to make a change. How?
I'm going to start by creating awareness and learning more about the world. I'm going to pray for us, because we need it. I think that's where I'll start and then, maybe a brain wave will come, and God will open doors and then the next thing you'll know I'll be on to something else.

劝说 (Persuasion)

The Wind and the Sun were disputing which was stronger. Suddenly they saw a traveler coming down the road and the Sun said: "I see a way to end our dispute. Whichever of us can cause that traveler to take off his cloak shall be regarded as the stronger. You begin."
So the Sun retired behind the cloud, and the Wind began to blow as hard as it could upon the poor traveler. But the harder he blew the more closely the traveler held his coat round him, until at last the Wind had to give up in despair. Then the Sun came out and shone in all of its brightness and glory upon the traveler, who soon found it too hot to walk with the coat on.

Lesson: Persuasion is better than force.
            说服是不是武力更好。

        La persuasión es mejor que lafuerza.

            La persuasion est mieux que la force.

Get that? This semester I feel bombarded with languages and the four listed at the top are at the forefront of everything. So I just like translating things that I know, both for practice and to toot my horn a little. :)

Anyways back to the fable and how I can apply it to my life and maybe how you could apply it to yours. I have a stubborn will power, making a decision is super hard for me, but then once I've made the choice, I never deter. I love to push limits and expand my own boundaries, but without stepping on the toes of others.

For example when I was about five years old I stood on the seat of a tricycle; stretched my bony arms out and attempted to defy gravity. A few years after that I wasn't so lucky. I was climbing up the ladder in our barn and thinking I could use one hand to climb, I let go. I fell, and my head narrowly missed a concrete slab on the floor. My wrist almost broke instead and I simply had to wear a cast for a couple of weeks.

I always had my own ideas and quirks about getting things done a certain way, but then everybody has their ideas, its just a matter of whether or not they allow them to reach fruition.

Anways, back to the point...things seem to be more poignant and hard hitting after time passes.
And what is the point you're wondering?
Persuasion, a slow eezing, a setting in of a lesson.

Let me put it another way:
"Why do we fall?"
"So we can learn to pick ourselves back up again."

I may do the same stupid thing over and over again, friends and family may be annoyed with me, but sometimes lessons take time to learn, and soon all of those mistakes persuade us to look at our lives and make a change. But in the case of the ladder, I only needed to learn that lesson once.
I guess reverse psychology acts very much in the same way...

Either way persuasion is a powerful thing.